Game 6 Summer 6’s 2016
The Porks v The Goats
Field 5 @ 6pm – 17 November.
Battle of the Barnyard Animals.
A 14-0 flogging last year at the hooves of the Goats was motivation enough to dig in a solid Pork performance or at least reduce the margin substantially. That alone would be counted as a Porks Victory by us.
Playing on Field 5 – the site of our first win this season was another motivating factor. Our usual crowd were here tonight, all awaiting the arrival of Babe the Porks mascot. Our Pork Rotisserie would be running on the smell of an muddy rag as we had 2 Subs which later would end up being just 1. Slash Double Hammy Sniper was still injured but Pigged Up like the Pork we know he is. He was in goals for the first half.
It didn’t take long for the Porks to lose possession, it’s something we expect and literally have no control over. In next to no time we realised we were in a spot of bother against the Goats. They were showing off their speed & talents then produced a goal ” like a chicken laying an egg “, it just happened from seemingly nowhere. The only touch Slash got on the egg was when he pulled it from the back of his net.
1 nil to the Goats.
The Porks then began shepherding the goats around the paddock. Tracking their every move. All of a sudden we’d become Goat Herders !! The Porks maintained some possession for the first time then like a pig on heat I beat a Goats player & found myself in open space albeit just inside their half of the field.It was as if The Pig Gods had parted the field like Moses did with the Red Sea. Either that or I smelt like the Pig Truck that drives through Bangalow & the Goats just cleared the path for me. Nevertheless Pork instinct took over & really without much further ado I unleashed a terrifying left kick roughly waist high that went like a missile straight toward the young keeper, it bounced in front of him & went into the right side netting. He was statue-like.
We couldn’t believe it, we dropped to Mother Earth for an almighty Truffle – one that we never thought would happen playing the highly fancied Goats. Now incredibly it was 1-1 after 5mins against the former Summer 6’s overall Champions. Shit just got serious, the Hooves were Off ! We’d upped the ante against the Goats & they went kinda berserk ‘Gina Rinehart’ style- The Porks & Goats were now playing for Sheep & Cattle stations.
It didn’t take long for the Goats to hit straight back. 2-1 Goats. Slash Double Hammy Sniper was fairly immobile in goals due to the weight of the 7 shin pads protecting his injury. It looked like a moon boot full of concrete. Words of encouragement from his son Coach Mick were strong enough to keep him upright & in goals. Any other Pork would’ve shat themselves in the bushes.
During a crazy scramble in our goalmouth I desperately tried clearing the ball but Back Heels speed beat me to it & he gifted a perfectly timed & weighted ball to a Goats player right in front of goals to score. It was an early Goats Christmas present, so good it seemed like it came from the footballing Gods themselves. Goats 3-1.
On nearly every Goats attacking raid Brains was as cunning as a fox when it came to dispossessing the biggest quickest guy on their team. The footwork was fancy & very deceiving but Brains stood his ground & watched the ball like a hawk not flinching when the guy danced about. This new found skill won Brains the ball nearly every time. Brains beat Brawn time & time again. Wild Boar said after the match it was like Indiana Jones where Indiana faces the swordsman who wields his weapons ferociously just so Indiana can withdraw his gun & shoot him. Epic scenes Brains.
The Porks again beautifully made their way up field into an attacking position. Then either through Piggy Bancks or Back Heel it was nicely passed to Wild Boar who accurately passed it to Husseyhof. The Hof took aim but was nudged as he kicked the ball sending it just wide of the posts. It was pure footballing magic from the Porks and unlucky not to get a better result. The opposition did chew through our Goat proof De-Fence a few more times to score before the Half Time whistle blew. 7-1 to the Goats.
There was excitement in the Porks camp after having made the Goats watch The Porks Truffle during that half. Slash was nearly reduced to crocodile tears after succumbing to that injury & being yanked from the Keepers spot by his son Mick the Coach. Subsequently The Porks Subs bench was reduced to just 1 for the final 25minutes and Wild Boar was our new keeper.
The Porks started well and Duncham turned himself into a Pork tank & made a barging run upfield leaving 3 Goats floundering in his wake.Unfortunately their goalmouth was not his destination. The Goats soon turned defence into attack and peppered our goalmouth with an array of shots fired from both close range & further afield. Wild Boar was deflecting everything that moved. At least 3 times the ball incredibly ricocheted off Porks & Goats bodies but he saved them all – it was like a scene from The WHO’s “Pinball Wizard” with Wild Boar playing Roger Doultry. He had Goats balls flying everywhere. It was Wild Boar at his best.
Soon the Goats did score again- Duncham wanted to clear the ball but somehow tried a variation on Back Heels first half pass which landed in the lap of a Goats player who made no mistake with his shot at goals.
For a fleeting moment we thought there may be some inter-animal relations taking place. Until now The Goats were definitely having problems breaking down The Porks backline in this 2nd half as only 1 goal had been scored. Piggy Bancks & The Hof were solid, getting in the way at every opportunity. Brains was still in control & Back Heel & Duncham joined The Sultan in sticking their trotters in places the Goats didn’t want them to be.
We too gave them some grief in their defensive line with Wild Boars mighty trotter unleashing accurate power from goal kicks. One such kick needed just a glancing header which I the Sultan just failed by an inch to connect with. It was a certainty as it nearly went in straight from Wild Boars boot. Another time their keeper ( Brains’ mate ) the big guy with Braun who liked to venture out of goals copped a goal kick that caught him off guard- I was right in his face to get the ball rebounding off his chest but I could just put a toe to it rather than a full boot -which he saved.
Finally some luck came The Sultans way from their throw in. A Goat lobbed a big long throw infield towards a teammate which I anticipated & chased like a “Pig in the park chasing a frisbee” & launched head first at the ball. I connected cleanly and sent it goal bound but their keeper had raced back there in time only to see me coming at him causing him to take his eyes off the ball & fumble the simplest of saves ! GGGGGoooooooaaaaaalllllll
The Pork Truffle was again in full swing & the crowd went mental like a gaggle of Geese. Even Babe ran onto the Field Of Dreams High 5-ing me. Oh what a feeling……. The Goats scored their 2nd goal of the half making it a 9-2 scoreline.
Congratulations to The Goats for the win & for their terrific Sportsmanship throughout our match.
Tonight The Porks were again shown how to play……..But we weren’t too concerned with the loss because we scored 2 goals & we know that Form is Temporary but Class is Permanent !!!
Afterwards The Bowlo was a great place to celebrate the match & watch other games.
That’s a Pork Wrap !!!