Game 7 Summer 6’s 2016
The Porks v The Mighty Boots
Field 8 @ 7pm
Fat from The Pork PenTHouse
Pork may soon be the new Caviar after World Pork Prices rose substantially due to our 2 goal feast against the talented Goats recently.
In Other Porks News
Porks mascot Babe had a recent Dinner date with Celebrity Legend Miss Piggy but it went Pig Shaped after Babe Pigheadedly said he’d rather be “Driving Miss Daisy” because Miss Piggy allegedly blurted to the Porkarazzi that Babes Signature Chicken dish was actually Fish ! Babes natural response was “It’s not a Tuna,it’s not a Tuna”!
Anyway……..Babe made it to The Field Of Dreams to support The Porks & drew a crowd of kids like the “Pied Piper”. They’d come from far & wide to get high 5’s & a Photo. Babes’ Celebrity status will now Trump Donald Ducks’ as the most popular Character in a suit.
The cornerstone of our recent success in this, our “Season Of Clarity” among other things is our ability to bring on fresh Pig Legs through the Pork Rotisserie. But for the 3rd week running our Subs bench was as nearly as empty as a pub with no beer!!!
Wild Boar took first Watch – in goals. After 5 minutes things were looking pretty good at nil all. Though just like in recent weeks the opposition who were roughly half our age, half our looks,twice as fast & at least 3 times more talented started to kick into gear. Also, in a matter of seconds the Return of the Awe inspiring Kevin Bacon showed that in the off season soccer was not on his mind at all.
Backheel said it best re: KB’s return to the field – “it was like he was on a first date tonight…lips and arms all over the place.”
The 1st goal scorer was our very own Dan BeckHam who put it perfectly off his boot into our own Goal.
1-0 Mighty Boots.
The 2nd goal scorer was BeckHam who like a man possessed seeking redemption equalled the ledger by way of Hussey putting an awkward ball somewhere near the goals and Dan Beckham polished the Turd of a pass and put it in their net.
GGGGggggoooooaaaaalllllll ( WBoar )
1 – 1
And Pork Truffle celebration time. 1-1 was now the score & it was game on Piggies !!! Play resumed & once again The Porks weren’t comfortable with the scoreline & so HusseyHoff much like last week (where BackHeel inspired Duncham) the Hoff was inspired by BeckHams 1st own goal and decided to put his own goal stamp on the match by slotting the ball past Wild Boar to record another goal for the Mighty Boots.
After some too-ing & fro-ing in this see-sawing ding dong battle it was again time for HusseyHof to rattle the goal net in a positive manner for The Porks.
The lead up work was outstanding from Dan BeckHam & he returned the favour with a perfectly placed cross to HusseyHof who for the first time Ever Finally popped his own cherry by kicking the ball into the top of the Mighty Boots goal net. GGGGggoooooaaaaalllll to The Hof. Porks Truffle mania celebration again.
It was now 2-2.
Wild Boar’s long boot goal kicking was met by an opposition header way too many times. But in some other spectacular highlights from the match….. The DuncHam- just like last week when he thought he was a Pork Tank – This time he was going forward and aiming at goals but rather getting closer to the corner post than to their netted Goals. DuncHam’s plan to score a goal within a 5 year time frame remains exactly that – a Plan.
Although all 4 goals were scored by the Porks, only 2 were celebrated with a Pork Truffle.
Wild Boar’s thoughts on the first half scoring…….. Both the Porks goals were scored as redemption for own goals. All 4 goals scored were brilliant. The Porks two were exceptional and may never have been scored without the drive and desperation to atone the common but filthiest of Pork fouls – The dreaded own goal.
The HusseyHof had taken up residence in goals & Wild Boar was now breathing fire & putting muscle into the Porks on field. He definitely fired up once he stretched the trotters out on field. During his half game stint in goals he noticed who’d been using some argy bargy & it was time for some payback. Wild Boar knocked over their chief playmaker, who seemed to get a bit upset…….! BackHeel actually connected with the ball in real BackHeel fashion. Something that’s been missing from his game for quite some time. It’s all about timing he reckons.
Babe was still looking fantastic on the sideline & creating a tangible atmosphere all on his own.
Craig the Thief -The-If was back on deck after a couple games away. While “living the dream” he was obviously training everyday so come game time he was trying to thieve a goal using his head- something that made him famous in Porks colours.
Setting up the Pork Curtain with a gap between my legs only to get nutted and the deflection scored our 5th goal ( their 5th goal ) – was the Icing Pork Crackle on the cake !!!
( Brains )
FULLTIME – 5-2 Winners Mighty Boots.
Porks Post Match Comments…
While I didn’t score an own goal, I’m pretty sure I single handedly obstructed more than one pork about to score a goal. I live to give… ( Kevin Bloody Bacon ).
Last Thursday night proved we are not just content scoring our own goals, we’ll give a handful away! What an effort. Great to see some creativity from the opposition in a Truffle homage. Nice work boys. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
For mine Hussy’s own goal was the goal of the night, like Gallipoli it should never be forgotten and commemorated yearly with a Dawn Service. ( BackHeel )
5-2 final score.. I think we scored a couple in the second half too even though our score stayed the same as the first half….. ( Brains )
It’s the Season to be Jolly and our generosity in scoring some own goals to help The Mighty Boots was definitely in the Pork Spirit of things. Gee we’re lucky the crowds don’t expect to be treated to such wonderful footballing skills each week otherwise by now they’d probably be better players than us !
Anyway…….as I’ve heard……. “Sport is for those that are brave enough to play, smart enough to understand the game but dumb enough to think it’s important”.
So I’m not quite sure where that leaves Us Porks.
But If the Pork is right then Chew it.
Porks Goals scored Update.
Game 1 Brains 1
Game 3 Slash 1
Game 3 The Sultan 1
Game 4 Wild Boar 1
Game 4 Dan Beckham 1
Game 6 The Sultan 2
Game 7 Dan Beckham 1
Game 7 HusseyHof 1
Game 8 ………………?
Own Goals Scored
Game 7 Dan Beckham 1
Game 7 HusseyHof 1
Game 7 Brains 1 ?
Thanks Team Pork for your combined literary contributions.
That’s a PORK WRAP !!!